Yeah, I'm a slacker.  Life is just kinda crappy lately.  The semester was extremely hard, my teacher laughed at all of us when we talked about how much work that she gave us.  I had no time to breathe (miraculously I got an A-)  My roomate also has this stupid boyfriend and it has put a strain on all of her friendships.  We finally talked, but I don't think things will ever be the same.  I don't like the situation, they have to be attached 24/7 and everything is awkward.  It's also really hard with happy people around all the time, and I feel so crappy.  I want to be happy for them, but I'm pretty sure this whole situation is not good for either of them. 

I'm really nervous about teaching, but I am excited.  Hopefully the flute players don't hate me, for I was in charge of their auditions.  There was shaking and one girl even cried, they were all scared to death.  I cannot believe it is almost here, plus I have to take the praxis, gulp.  Next year also scares me.  I have nowhere to go to.  For the last four years, I have been able to hide at Hiram, the first place that I ever belonged.  Now everything is unknown, I cannot stay here, it'll suck the life out of me.  I cannot become a dang cat lady, it'll also kill my spirit (but everyday I'm reminded how I will never date by my family).  I need a home, and it seems hopeless right now.  All I know, is that more than anything is that I want to spend my life helping kids feel good about themselves and learn to be passionate about music, but how can I do this when I am still beating myself up?

I needed to rant, nuff said.